Dinner Party Host With A Twist T-Shirts

"My bouche was not amused."

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

"Appetizer is almost done."

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'