Dinner Party Expert T-Shirts

Impressive opinions you can pass off as your own (Entertaining at Dinner Parties).

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four