Dinner Party Enthusiast T-Shirts

"All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my own penis."

"I'd like a Merlot, nothing pretentious,just something 'avec un petit de je ne sais quoi!'"

After the last supper...

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

"I can't see the food for the peas."

'Did you know Geoffrey was once a tennis umpire?'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

The multicultural family Thanksgiving...

'Would you mind if this gentlemen joins you, madam? He asked for a table with a view.'

My candlelight dinner with Andre.

'They like our turkey dinner tradition, but they're not so sure about the wife swapping.'

'Hugo has short term memory loss but we've chosen to ignore it!'

"Be careful, Dear, this chili has quite a kick!"

"Perhaps it was the eel," The Lefleurs commiserate with their paying guest.

"Why don't you come over this evening? It's a long time since we've had a good visit."

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Guests Bring a Bomb to Dinner

"There's something you haven't told me."

"I like the Farrells, but not for an entire meal."

"Even if they don't like it, they'll be flattered that we thought they'd like it."

"I'm starting to think that no one else is coming."

"Clark and Denise are our closest neighbors."

"Larry and I invited you here tonight to take our focus off each other."

"Frances, where did you ever find such similar others?"

"Should we start without him?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"You do like octopus?"

"Remember, dinner at the Berglunds'."

"Oh, yes, we know them. We hate them."

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"But, darling, many very successful young revolutionaries – our own Thomas Jefferson among them – dressed for dinner."

"Two?"

"We're still getting used to feeling patriotic."