Dinner Party Enthusiast T-Shirts

"All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my own penis."

"I'd like a Merlot, nothing pretentious,just something 'avec un petit de je ne sais quoi!'"

After the last supper...

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Did you know Geoffrey was once a tennis umpire?'

"I can't see the food for the peas."

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'They like our turkey dinner tradition, but they're not so sure about the wife swapping.'

"Have more wine. You'll want your taste-buds as numb as possible."

The multicultural family Thanksgiving...

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Hugo has short term memory loss but we've chosen to ignore it!'

"Be careful, Dear, this chili has quite a kick!"

'Would you mind if this gentlemen joins you, madam? He asked for a table with a view.'

My candlelight dinner with Andre.

"Remember, no discussing politics, religion or covid."

"I hope you guys don't mind I invited God."

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

"But, darling, many very successful young revolutionaries – our own Thomas Jefferson among them – dressed for dinner."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"When you enthusiastically declare Pam's layered jello salad is 'better than sex', I fear some may see it as a commentary of me, and not the layered jello salad."

"I went with the tasting menu."

"Proud, darling? Chateaubriand, fresh arugula, runny Brie, a ballerina, the Stocktons, and the Brazilian correspondent of the New York 'Times'!"

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"You do like octopus?"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Should we start without him?"

"Frances, where did you ever find such similar others?"

"Do you and Gary want to come over and not talk about Trump?"

"I'm starting to think that no one else is coming."

"I like the Farrells, but not for an entire meal."

"There's something you haven't told me."

"I'm the writer-in-residence."