Dinner Party Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

In the Conversation Pit of Hell.

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Quick swig first?"

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"A little lamb please."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."