Dinner Party Connoisseur Gifts

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

In the Conversation Pit of Hell.

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Quick swig first?"

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'