Diner Connoisseur Gifts

'He's just joking - they've had a long day in surgery.'

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign