Dinner Connoisseur Gifts

"Or we could just order something in."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Who gets the decaf?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Regular service or affected?"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"