Restaurant Connoisseur Gifts

"Do you have a reservation?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Yes everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I've added eighteen percent to your bill because it's more than fifteen percent."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Fish food.

'I'm sorry Sir, we don't do 'grub''.

Golfer reads club sign pointing to restaurant, swimming pool, obstacle course.

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

tough steak

"I'll start with a tall glass of O positive."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I come here for the pepper."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Hats and Food

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Yummy Mummies

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."