Dinner Party Hosts T-Shirts

'Thag! Put those silly things down! Where are your manners?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'Uh ho, looks like the hyenas have invited themselves to dinner again. And I bet they haven't brought wine!'

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

"Dinner with a dung beetle."

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'If it's flowers you want,may I suggest a vegetarian restaurant,sir?'

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'I sent out for everything.'

Grace For Flies

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'