Quirky Dinner Hosts Gifts

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

Horn of Leftovers

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

Sushi Train Spotters

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Appetizer is almost done."