Dinner Hosts Gifts

'Don't mention music while they're here. He's brought his tuba.'

'Are you sure you didn't invite the Brownes around for dinner?'

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Rump roast?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

Horn of Leftovers

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Veal or non-veal?"

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"My bouche was not amused."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Appetizer is almost done."