Dinner Party Host Gifts

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Something from the supplement cart?"

'Your table is almost ready.'

"Appetizer is almost done."

A man opening a bottle of sparkling water carelessly

'Your wife is right on that one. When you're invited to dinner, you take a bottle of wine as a token of your appreciation.'

'I thought your husband was a pianist.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

'I know the sign says 'All You Can Eat' but it's only from your plate.'

'Everybody else is going green, so we will to - Bring us a bottle of vinho verde.'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Teddy Bears' Dinner Party

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

". . . A slight change in the menu, folks. . . tonight's special will be blackened chicken!"

"I don't need to see that... Any port in a storm will do."

'Dinner.'

'Unbelievably bad taste! A painting of Thanksgiving dinner hanging in their dining room!'

'You ordered the house wine, sir.'

'Omigosh! Lenny's choking! Who knows the Heimlich maneuver?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'This is an honest little wine, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I don't want to stay for dinner. Your mother is a vegetarian!'

'I had it for lunch.'

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

Giraffe Ties Napkins Around Neck.

'I'll bring your lobster in a minute, sir -- why don't you go ahead and put on these leather gauntlets?'

Eating Pie.

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Now let's go get a REAL meal.'

"Of course it's a rubber duck. What did you expect? After all this is a vegetarian restaurant!"

'Ethelred! Hurry up... It's gone ten past and the Wilsons have arrived."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."