Dinner Party Host Pillows

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Something from the supplement cart?"

"Appetizer is almost done."

'Your table is almost ready.'

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

A man opening a bottle of sparkling water carelessly

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"I don't need to see that... Any port in a storm will do."

'I thought your husband was a pianist.'

'I know the sign says 'All You Can Eat' but it's only from your plate.'

'Your wife is right on that one. When you're invited to dinner, you take a bottle of wine as a token of your appreciation.'

Teddy Bears' Dinner Party

". . . A slight change in the menu, folks. . . tonight's special will be blackened chicken!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'Everybody else is going green, so we will to - Bring us a bottle of vinho verde.'

'Omigosh! Lenny's choking! Who knows the Heimlich maneuver?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

"Perhaps the wine is a little too chilled. My fingers are frozen to the glass."

"How many times must I tell you to chew your food?"

'I'll bring your lobster in a minute, sir -- why don't you go ahead and put on these leather gauntlets?'

'Now let's go get a REAL meal.'

'I had it for lunch.'

Eating Pie.

Giraffe Ties Napkins Around Neck.

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

'Dinner.'

'I don't want to stay for dinner. Your mother is a vegetarian!'

'This is an honest little wine, sir.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'You ordered the house wine, sir.'

'Unbelievably bad taste! A painting of Thanksgiving dinner hanging in their dining room!'