Dinner Party Pillows

"So this where the magic happens."

"Did we mention that we spent last summer in Maine?"

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"Just don't be yourself."

"Tell them that hilarious story about your colonoscopy."

After Eight Mints

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"On second thought, we'd be pleased to stay for dinner."

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

'We thought we'd try a Schubert Lieder karaoke night.'

'...and thank you for not outstaying your welcome.'

'Apparently, your'e never more than 10ft away from a rat. Although, I think that's only on average.'

'I just killed a big gray thing with bumps all over it - how about you folks come over for dinner?'

"You are David Richards. Your chosen topic tonight is dinner party conversation and your time starts now...How long did it take to get here and by what route?"

'Ten bucks says she serves porridge again.'

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

'Slip the trumpet player an extra $20 for me - I didn't think Ed would ever finish that toast.'

"We didn't have time to pick up a bottle of wine, but this is what we would have spent."

Dinner Party Conversation

'Sorry we're late, we had a bit of trouble finding you.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Trustworthy Authority.

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

'I told Brenda not to wear her zebra-print dress!'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

A curate dining with some hunters

'How come whenever Connie has a party she always invites the same people we don't know?'

"Listen up, everybody—Charles is going to fill us in about the Grenache grape."

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I don't trust carry-out food. . . when you find a hair in my cooking, you don't hafta worry about where it came from!'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'You'd better put yours on, too -- The MacBeths are coming for dinner.'