First Dinner Party Pillows

A mother taking her daughter to her first dinner party

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Join me for dinner?

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'