First Dinner Party Pillows

A mother taking her daughter to her first dinner party

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Join me for dinner?

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Gesundheit!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'