First Dinner Pillows

Look Who's Coming to Dinner

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'How is the water prepared?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'Hey, Pal, hope you don't mind - we're running a little low over here.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."