First Dinner Gifts

Look Who's Coming to Dinner

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'How is the water prepared?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Hey, Pal, hope you don't mind - we're running a little low over here.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Bare Minimum