Couple's First Dinner Gifts

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Join me for dinner?

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'Tasty bird.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

Babies who Lunch.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

Look Who's Coming to Dinner

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

'You've got to be kidding...you mean there's a recipe for this?'

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

"Those aren't three-star-restaurant pants."

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

'I knew we should have brought your marigolds,dear!'

'I wish you'd told me you were inviting them. Thomas hates shellfish.'

'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'

"Could you handle this...I'm all decisioned-out for today."

'It's not a romantic touch, it's a power cut.'

"Oh, dear me. No, no – I meant the Chehalem 2006, not the $2,006."

Birds.

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

"No, no, no....It's not your cooking. Just a hairball."

Late for his dinner date for the third time, Randy finds-out the real danger of 'Asalt' weapons. . .