Fun Dinner Host Gifts

"Have you noticed little Fred's never late for dinner these days?"

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"My bouche was not amused."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"Appetizer is almost done."