Quirky Party Host T-Shirts

'Honey, the guests are almost here and I just realized we don't have enough food. Do you have any suggestions of what they could eat?'

Wine Lady

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The devil you know and his plus one

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Pinata Trophies

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Mini Bar

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Roller Coasters

'He's been shot!'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

"My bouche was not amused."

"Happy new year!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

A Good Year.

Please Leave by 9

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

"Harold is demonstrating his string theory!"

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"Fetus?"

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'