Quirky Event Host T-Shirts

"I told you a virtual swinger's party would be a logisitcal nightmare."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The devil you know and his plus one

Peel poker.

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"Happy new year!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

New Year's eve plans!

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

A cocktail in a tuba

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'

Ventriloquists dummy

"And now, let’s welcome our keynote speaker... I truly have no idea who this person is, that’s how good and ghosty they are."

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

I just LOVE these giant mushroom caps. They can be real conversation stoppers just when you need them.

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

'Hi. I'm Major Fixer-Upper.'