Turkey Technician Gifts

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

High speed cinder block

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Fixing the TV.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Computer operator welding machine.

Early Tech Support

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.