Turkey Tamer Gifts

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

The First Thanksgiving

"Don't worry. This year I have a new recipe."

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

'I found this to be the most efficient a cost effective way to fatten them up for thanksgiving.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'We won't be having this turkey until next Thanksgiving. It says 'thaw out for 1 year'.'

"I guess you weren't doing it right."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A midwife holding a baby

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Crying baby

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Happy Tots Day Care.

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"