Toddler Tamer Gifts

"By our estimates, it's going to take two villages to raise Joey."

'I have a two-year old - please don't make me work from home.'

Quiet Time

"I've got him on vibrate."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

Puppy Potty Training.

"Choo choo doesn't work any more. Try money!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'I'm so good at this."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."

Cr�che Seige

'Let's skip dessert. My arms sore.'

'I dreamed last night that she was sixteen and had a learner's permit.'

'I hope she doesn't bring it to the off leash area.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Slippery When Wet'.

Crying baby

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

'Tsk - he will keep throwing things out of the buggy.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I knew you would come crawling back to me."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

A midwife holding a baby

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Site Safety: Minutes Since Last Accident.

"Actually, no, Sue—four is not a great age."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

"Try verbalizing it."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Ways to deal with four year olds.

The Baby Walker