Toddler Taming Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A midwife holding a baby

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Parenting Business Deals

Crying baby

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

The Working Mum

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Happy Tots Day Care.

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

Quiet Time

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Dad's home

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

Houdini's infancy.

Babies

"I know he's little, but he uses it."