Toddler Trouble Enthusiast Gifts

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'He needs professional HELP!'

Houdini's infancy.

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

Having spotted the Feglers and their two sets of twins approaching, the Fillmans quickly prepared themselves.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

'He knows a few words, but he can't really process them yet.'

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'She has great communication skills.'

Playpen Jailbreak.

Father's Day

"I Hate Carrots."

"I'm up to my neck in trouble, aren't I?"

"Since you've been here, you've caused nothing but mayhem and and trouble - please, please leave."

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

'First it's surveillance cameras in schools and now my mom wants to be my friend on Facebook, so she can check up on me.''

'When I pull the lever, Dad yells real loud!'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

Fat Kid 33- Stops playing with the cat

"I think you hair needs washing"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'