Toddler Enthusiast Gifts

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Haircuts

A midwife holding a baby

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Rocking Horse

"Werewolves of London..."

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"It's his emotional support animal."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Childlike love