Toddler Time Enthusiast Gifts

Father's Day

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Office pics on dinner table.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

Child with doll in the sea

Sliding Down the Banister

Yoyos

A Boy and His Mother

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

"I've seen 'Top Gun,' 'Raw Deal,' 'Short Circuit,' 'Cobra,' 'Invaders from Mars,' 'SpaceCamp,' and 'Wise Guys,' but in August I'm going to join Mary and the kids on the Cape."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

'Is this what they call 'quality time', Dad?'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'