Toddler Time Enthusiast Pillows

Father's Day

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Office pics on dinner table.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Yoyos

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

Sliding Down the Banister

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

A Boy and His Mother

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

Child with doll in the sea

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

"I've seen 'Top Gun,' 'Raw Deal,' 'Short Circuit,' 'Cobra,' 'Invaders from Mars,' 'SpaceCamp,' and 'Wise Guys,' but in August I'm going to join Mary and the kids on the Cape."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

'Is this what they call 'quality time', Dad?'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

After working 80 hours a week for 30 years, Raymond was struggling to adjust to retirement.