Toddler's Mischief Enthusiast Pillows

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Okay, let me see your hands, your feet, and that wily prehensile tail...'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'

Father's Day

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Urine sample

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

Fat Kid 33- Stops playing with the cat

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

Next year Timmy gets socks for his birthday