Family Mischief Enjoyer Pillows

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

Playing pig

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Halloween health & safety.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

'Okay, let me see your hands, your feet, and that wily prehensile tail...'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'They have TWO trees!'

"Who made this mess?"

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

"Hey, will you kids stop trying to stick fridge magnets on your Aunt Marge!"

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Urine sample

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

Those bubble wrap kids.

No, dear, you didn

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'