Childhood Mischief Lover Pillows

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

The Tooth Ferret

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Urine sample

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

HMS Pinafore

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

'That's the last time I go there - Bagpipes and Karaoke just don't mix!'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

Two boys pulling faces

Next year Timmy gets socks for his birthday

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'