Toddler Life Enjoyer Pillows

Hey, I could get used to this couch potato thing.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Swan Fairy Tales

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'At lone at last.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

celebrating a birth.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Think about the honey."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"I read the audio book."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."