Toddler Life Enjoyer Pillows

Hey, I could get used to this couch potato thing.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Swan Fairy Tales

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'At lone at last.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

celebrating a birth.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Think about the honey."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"I read the audio book."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

"If you don't stop doing that, your faces will stick that way!"