Kid Enthusiast Gifts

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Haircuts

A midwife holding a baby

'The child is very illogical'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Werewolves of London..."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

It's a Boy

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."