Infant Enthusiasts Gifts

'The child is very illogical'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Haircuts

A midwife holding a baby

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Whoa

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Doughboy Dad

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"He looks just like your husband."

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

"They look so young and helpless."

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."