Infant Enthusiasts Gifts

'The child is very illogical'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

Caution. Slippery when wet.

A midwife holding a baby

Haircuts

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Doughboy Dad

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"They look so young and helpless."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'How many fingers do you see?'