Childhood Enthusiasts Gifts

"Look at the silly grin on his face -- I bet his imaginary playmate is a girl!"

'The child is very illogical'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

Knight of the sandcastle.

'Yes, I did put a bigger string on it. It's called upgrading.'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

"You can over-encourage kids, you know."

'She has great communication skills.'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

Truce?

'Mom said I was rude and put me in time out to learn some manners. I'm in solitary refinement!'

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

'Some days it's hard to keep one step ahead of them.'

"Which one generates the most synapses?"

"Another milestone: the first step, first word, first excuse..."