Childhood Enthusiasts Gifts

"Look at the silly grin on his face -- I bet his imaginary playmate is a girl!"

'The child is very illogical'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Knight of the sandcastle.

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

'Yes, I did put a bigger string on it. It's called upgrading.'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"You can over-encourage kids, you know."

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

Happy House Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many years.

'She has great communication skills.'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

Truce?

No caption. (Young girl looks at hopscotch pattern drawn on treadmill.)

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

'Mom said I was rude and put me in time out to learn some manners. I'm in solitary refinement!'

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

Now, my son, visualize yourself removing your diaper and sitting on the potty

'Some days it's hard to keep one step ahead of them.'

"Which one generates the most synapses?"