Infant Enthusiast Gifts

No caption. (Baby decides which bottle to choose from a rack in a basement. The rack looks very much like a wine rack.)

"They look so young and helpless."

Who's a cutey?

A midwife holding a baby

Haircuts

'The child is very illogical'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Whoa

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Doughboy Dad

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'How many fingers do you see?'