Infant Enthusiast Pillows

"They look so young and helpless."

Who's a cutey?

A midwife holding a baby

Haircuts

'The child is very illogical'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Doughboy Dad

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."