Early Childhood Enthusiast Pillows

"Which one generates the most synapses?"

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

Haircuts

A midwife holding a baby

'The child is very illogical'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'So this is goodbye then!'

First Word

"He talks the talk."

"They look so young and helpless."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Do that again, but cuter."

Who's a cutey?

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

(Preschool for Dummies)

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

Knight of the sandcastle.

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."