Early Childhood Enthusiast Pillows

"Which one generates the most synapses?"

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

A midwife holding a baby

Haircuts

'The child is very illogical'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"He talks the talk."

"They look so young and helpless."

First Word

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

Who's a cutey?

"Do that again, but cuter."

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

Right little madam.

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

Knight of the sandcastle.