Toddler Tantrum Enthusiast Gifts

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

The No No No's

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Mood Swings.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Witch's child wants to ride mechanical broom.

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

Sore Loser

"What do you recommend for someone recovering from a tantrum?"

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

Menu. Will you do it? It'll cost you -- Two lattes. Fine. Just do it. Ok, stand back. You stupid #*& phone. Stop disconnecting my calls, you #*&% jerk! It needed doing, but I couldn't yell at my own phone. That felt wonderful.

History Of Fire

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

'I had to confiscate the rubber band gun I made for Max. Now he won't speak to me. . .for a little guy he's got a huge cold shoulder.'

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

Fat Kid 33- Stops playing with the cat

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Our mother, I'm so pent up with rage I could twitter!'

"No, I can't fix your child too."

"Getting the WiFi to Work"

'For Pete's sake, can't you just tell me instead of emailing me?'

'I don't mind the obscene phone calls. But I object to them reversing the charges.'