Toddler Taming Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

A midwife holding a baby

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Crying baby

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Parenting Business Deals

The Working Mum

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Quiet Time

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

Houdini's infancy.

Dad's home

Babies

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'Sorry, Holly!'