Toddler Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

A midwife holding a baby

Haircuts

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

'The child is very illogical'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

Rocking Horse

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's his emotional support animal."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

Childlike love

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."