Toddler Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Haircuts

A midwife holding a baby

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

'The child is very illogical'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"That'll be five bucks."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Rocking Horse

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

Childlike love