Child Tamer T-Shirts

'I managed to raise six children and fourteen house plants. How is that for management experience?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

A midwife holding a baby

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Toys in the DVD Player.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Parenting Business Deals

Crying baby

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Education Guidance

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'