Trout Tamer Gifts

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

Secretive Weigh In.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

To do before Saturday...

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Lovely dovetail."

Not you. Your hair.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Education Guidance

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

I bake my own bread

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"I guess you weren't doing it right."