Trendy Worrier Gifts

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Things that go beep in the night.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

I think I have a gilt complex.

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

No Action Comics

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

Very sad piggy bank

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

We know your e-mail address!

"Trust me: It's benign."

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

'I don't want to go in the water - that man said the fish were really biting today.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I made my money the old fashioned way. Through plenty of other people's hard work."