Modern Worrier Gifts

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

A Hole in the Dike

I.T. Fear

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I hate monday mornings.

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Separation Anxiety

I think I have a gilt complex.

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

No Action Comics

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

"You might as well go on, son. I don't think they're going to call off school because of the snow storm."

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

"There's a big world out there I know nothing about. And with any luck, I never will."

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

People run from a falling cloud

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"