Worrier Gifts

'Mind you, that's the worst-case scenario.'

Lullabies for parents

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

"Where is that boy? And how come he's not answering his cell phone? This is not good."

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

"Now that you're supposed to see me again I thought I'd pop in to see if there was anything wrong with me that I hadn't noticed yet."

A Hole in the Dike

Nervous Oral Testing

I.T. Fear

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

I hate monday mornings.

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Things that go beep in the night.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Separation Anxiety

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

Concern Chart

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

No Action Comics

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'