Thoughtful Worrier Gifts

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

A Hole in the Dike

Nervous Oral Testing

I.T. Fear

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Separation Anxiety

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

Full Harvest Moon

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

"Trust me: It's benign."

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers