Professional Worrier Gifts

"Bummer Magazine"

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Nervous Oral Testing

I.T. Fear

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Things that go beep in the night.

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."

'Next, they'll be taking our jobs.'

"Trust me: It's benign."

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.

'I think I left the iron on.'