Internet Worrier Gifts

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I.T. Fear

Nervous Oral Testing

I hate monday mornings.

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"...and in this circle the wi-fi is particularly patchy..."